Keeping Kleenex in Business

So, I spent the day in three places:  the doctor's office, the pharmacy waiting area and the couch.  There's no denying it and no way around it.  I'm officially sick.  Doctor verified.  Surrounded by Kleenex, random bottles of over-the-counter decongestants, glasses tinted pink from remnants of wild berry flavored Emergen-C, wrapped in blankets, dressed in pajamas and two pairs of socks kind of sick.  After two hours in the Urgent Care clinic (which I think is completely false advertising), my doctor-on-the-spot determined that my malady dujour is a sinus infection.  She actually led with "How many sinus infections have you had in your life?"  To which I responded, "I lost count."  I was immediately prescribed a significant dosage of amoxicillin, told to take it easy, relax, get lots of fluids and "don't push yourself too hard or you'll set yourself back a few days."

Wait... what?  I stopped her before she gave me a lollipop, patted me on the head and sent me on my way.  "So... I'm supposed to run in a 5K on Saturday (here comes the childlike pleading) and I've been training now for a while and super pumped about it (all this time she had this look on her face like 'Silly girl') and if I can just get rid of all of this congestion and breathe, I can do it, right?  Right?" Uh, no.  No, I can't run a 5K in twenty degree weather forty-eight hours after starting antibiotics to nip an extreme sinus infection that makes just the vibration of talking send waves of pain through my face.  Silly girl.

So, despite the super cute matching running outfit, grown up underoos, and armband for my phone I purchased that are all anxiously awaiting their first usage, I'm grounded.  No running, no training, no nothing until I feel better.  And after two doses of the amoxicillan, there is no light at the end of the tunnel.  I canceled my appointment with my trainer tonight and am tentatively scheduled to see him this weekend, but he agreed that rest and fluids were going to be much better than sweating and working out.  Urgh.

Never in my life have I set a goal that revolved around anything physical, so this feeling of disappointment based on something completely out of my control and hinged on my health is totally new to me.  I've been disappointed by not being able to do things in my life, sure, but not something that I've trained for, mentally prepared myself for and intentionally told the world I was going to accomplish in an effort to hold myself accountable.  Part of me is afraid that people will think I'm wimping out or just didn't want to do it, so had my doctor been wishy-washy about it, I might have forced myself through it just to counteract that probably ridiculous fear.  But, as I sit here waiting for the antibiotics to kick in and do something, while wiping my nose incessantly and guzzling water and green tea, I know that physically it would have wiped me out.  And, at the end of the day, I want to finish.  If I went through it and ended up crashing and burning because I didn't know my own physical limits, I'd probably be more upset than I am now to just miss the whole thing.  Urgh... trying hard to stay positive.

A dear friend of mine told me tonight (while I was complaining about this very thing on Facebook) that I inspire her with my determination and drive to change my life and make it what I want.  But, that God puts obstacles like sickness in our lives to tell us to slow down a bit and rest.  The silver lining is that another friend sent me a link to another 5K in late January for an equally wonderful local cause, giving me another month and a half to train.  Maybe... just maybe... I'll be able to run the whole thing with another month and a half to train.

Of course, I'll keep you posted.

P.S. Have you tried the yoga ball ab workout yet?