Good Things

So, bear with  me.  This post has almost nothing to do with weight  loss, weight training, cardio, diet or fitness.  But, stand by.  My trainer has promised me a great diet plan to help me jump start my weight loss again (I'm slimming down, but the scale isn't moving) and I promise to share it with you if you promise to read this post that is a bit more touchy-feely than my usual.  Pinky promise.

Sometimes I think that personal trainers must feel a lot like bartenders.  Although they're paid for their expertise and the services that they can provide, they're probably often called upon to serve as mini therapists.  Or maybe I'm the only one who creates ridiculously close relationships with people at the drop of a hat and probably shares entirely too much about my personal and professional lives within an abnormally short period of time.  But, really, are you surprised?  Surely not.

Over the last three months, I've gotten to know my trainer and he's gotten to know me (except he didn't know how much older I am than he is until just last night, but that's another long and sad story... I digress.) and we've talked about a lot of various facets of our lives.  He knows my current relationship status (somehow I'd like to convince him to personally change that...), he knows what I do for a living, he knows where I work, where I live, where I grew up, what I drive...  We're pretty much kindred spirits.

So, when things at work starting going not-so-fun over the last few weeks, obviously, my trainer was aware, even so much as to say moderately informed.  I kept the boring and office-specific details to a minimum, but he got the gist.  Usually, he'd start the conversation with "How are you?, how's work?," to which I'd respond with "Eh, it's okay."  Last night, I lead with "Today was stupid."  We've definitely gotten to the place where he can recognize variances in my responses (for example, when I lift weights, I keep my swearing to a minimum if it's just basically uncomfortable.  If I use a particular, rather heavy duty swear word, he knows that I'm in actual pain).  He recognized this variance.  I'm usually a very positive person, but every now and then, I need some time to dump out all the garbage, and poor Michael got the brunt of that dump.

We talked for a while while I was working on my back muscles (in a total G-rated way), which is much harder than you'd think.  He listened, encouraged me to express my opinions to those within positions of authority and go to bat for myself.  He told me that he could tell I was gaining confidence and should use that to my advantage.  I appreciated that and we kind of moved on to another conversation.  But, a few minutes later, he interrupted my generalized professional complaint by telling me that he knew that good things were going to happen to me out of this; that so many people in his life had had good things happen to them lately and he knew the same thing was going to happen for me.  He had no doubt, he shared, that I would come out on top, because I'm a good person and the future is bright for me.

I almost cried.  And I almost hugged him.  Again, in a completely G-rated way.  He was so genuine that I almost asked him if he knew something that I didn't.

I'm so thankful for one "good thing" in having made the decision to get a personal trainer and that I got one that is concerned about my entire well being.  And is hot.  You knew I was going to say it.  I couldn't let you down.

P.S. Earlier today, my office moved from one floor to another.  During the shuffle, my coworker spotted a a wayward fortune from a cookie.  I usually save those if they're good, but keep them in my wallet.  Knowing it must have been mine from my desk or somewhere I'd stowed it before putting it in my wallet, I asked him what it said.  He started with explaining that it was a new fortune now since I didn't remember what it said and then read, "You will be in receipt of good things in the future."  I know...crazy.

Keeping Kleenex in Business

So, I spent the day in three places:  the doctor's office, the pharmacy waiting area and the couch.  There's no denying it and no way around it.  I'm officially sick.  Doctor verified.  Surrounded by Kleenex, random bottles of over-the-counter decongestants, glasses tinted pink from remnants of wild berry flavored Emergen-C, wrapped in blankets, dressed in pajamas and two pairs of socks kind of sick.  After two hours in the Urgent Care clinic (which I think is completely false advertising), my doctor-on-the-spot determined that my malady dujour is a sinus infection.  She actually led with "How many sinus infections have you had in your life?"  To which I responded, "I lost count."  I was immediately prescribed a significant dosage of amoxicillin, told to take it easy, relax, get lots of fluids and "don't push yourself too hard or you'll set yourself back a few days."

Wait... what?  I stopped her before she gave me a lollipop, patted me on the head and sent me on my way.  "So... I'm supposed to run in a 5K on Saturday (here comes the childlike pleading) and I've been training now for a while and super pumped about it (all this time she had this look on her face like 'Silly girl') and if I can just get rid of all of this congestion and breathe, I can do it, right?  Right?" Uh, no.  No, I can't run a 5K in twenty degree weather forty-eight hours after starting antibiotics to nip an extreme sinus infection that makes just the vibration of talking send waves of pain through my face.  Silly girl.

So, despite the super cute matching running outfit, grown up underoos, and armband for my phone I purchased that are all anxiously awaiting their first usage, I'm grounded.  No running, no training, no nothing until I feel better.  And after two doses of the amoxicillan, there is no light at the end of the tunnel.  I canceled my appointment with my trainer tonight and am tentatively scheduled to see him this weekend, but he agreed that rest and fluids were going to be much better than sweating and working out.  Urgh.

Never in my life have I set a goal that revolved around anything physical, so this feeling of disappointment based on something completely out of my control and hinged on my health is totally new to me.  I've been disappointed by not being able to do things in my life, sure, but not something that I've trained for, mentally prepared myself for and intentionally told the world I was going to accomplish in an effort to hold myself accountable.  Part of me is afraid that people will think I'm wimping out or just didn't want to do it, so had my doctor been wishy-washy about it, I might have forced myself through it just to counteract that probably ridiculous fear.  But, as I sit here waiting for the antibiotics to kick in and do something, while wiping my nose incessantly and guzzling water and green tea, I know that physically it would have wiped me out.  And, at the end of the day, I want to finish.  If I went through it and ended up crashing and burning because I didn't know my own physical limits, I'd probably be more upset than I am now to just miss the whole thing.  Urgh... trying hard to stay positive.

A dear friend of mine told me tonight (while I was complaining about this very thing on Facebook) that I inspire her with my determination and drive to change my life and make it what I want.  But, that God puts obstacles like sickness in our lives to tell us to slow down a bit and rest.  The silver lining is that another friend sent me a link to another 5K in late January for an equally wonderful local cause, giving me another month and a half to train.  Maybe... just maybe... I'll be able to run the whole thing with another month and a half to train.

Of course, I'll keep you posted.

P.S. Have you tried the yoga ball ab workout yet?

Revenge of the Congestion

So, this Saturday I will attempt to complete my first ever 5K race in Atlanta.  The word "race" is to be read figuratively here.  I will only be competing with myself.  If I finish last, I still finished.  That's the goal.  What's the problem?, you ask.  I'm sick.

Damn it all to hell.  My body hates me.  It started on Saturday.  I felt this tickle in my throat and occasionally my voice would go all wobbly and weird.  But, I kicked it into high gear and went to my training appointment Saturday morning anyway.  It was awesome.  We do these Circuit Saturdays with a big group and I never leave without my face being the color of a pomegranate.  Remind me and I'll tell you the great ab exercise that we did that you could totally do at home.  I'll get back to that.

Yesterday, my head was congested and I didn't feel 100%.  I should have seen the giant red flag that was being waved in front of my face when I slept for 11 hours non-stop.  I'm tired, but not that tired. I kept going... stupidly.  I shopped for Christmas presents, put up Christmas lights outside, bought an armband for my cell phone so I can rock out as I run around the streets of Atlanta (hopefully in candy cane socks and a Santa hat).  You know, important stuff.  I refused to acknowledge what was happening with my body, figuring if I mentally accepted the fact that I was getting sick, I would actually become sick.  This morning, there was no more denial.  I woke up and I felt like my head was a balloon ready to explode.  The weird thing is that I don't feel sick, but I'm just so congested that I can hardly stand it.  I stayed home from work today.  It's 1:30 and I'm still in my pajamas.  As fabulous as that would be on most days, it's not so great when you're coughing and sneezing and sniffling.  I might drag myself into the shower here in a few minutes.

So, with five days before the 5K, what can I do to get better fast?  My trainer said to drink tons of water, which I honestly haven't done today.  I want to workout and run/walk, but I'm afraid that might set back my recovery.  But, I need to take advantage of these last few days before the run to get used to that kind of distance.  Maybe I should just focus on finishing in whatever form I do it in and not so much on the running/endurance part of it.  This is just typical... just typical.  Suggestions?  Ideas?  Thoughts?

(The exercise I referenced above is fantastic.  All you need is a yoga ball or really you could probably even do it with a pillow.  Lie down on the floor, face up.  Place the yoga ball or pillow or improvised item between your legs, kind of in the center between your knees and your ankles.  Now lift the yoga ball up to about your stomach and then transfer it to your hands.  Bring it down above your head and then back to your legs.  Repeat this for 3 sets of 15 reps.  I guarantee your abs will hurt for days, which is awesome.)

Fabulous Fitness Favorites

As you can see "Breaking Up with the Couch" got a makeover not long ago.  I thought it would be fun to create some additional pages for you to get a glimpse of some of my favorite things.  This post is meant to give you a sneak preview of what's to come on those fun pages running across the top of this one.  Keep an eye on them for updates and additions soon.

Favorite Foods:

During my trek through Weight Watchers World over the last six months, I quickly familiarized myself with foods that could take the place of things I love and still be WW-friendly and taste good.  I'm not a fan of rice cakes or other tasteless sustenance simply because they're "good for you."  Part of my favorite element of WW has been the challenge of finding things that are good to eat while staying within my daily points target.  Here are a few:

Skinny Cow
By far, every dieting chocoholic's dream.  From frozen desserts, to packaged sweet snacks and candy bars, it's real chocolate and real flavor.  I promise you, you will fall in love with their ice cream after the first bite.  It doesn't have that icy, watered down flavor that most diet ice creams have and I really prefer it over most other brands regardless of it's WW-friendliness.  It's a bit pricey (one serving of ice cream is about $1.50), but considering you shouldn't be having ice cream after every dinner anyway, keeping a couple on hand in the freezer for treats is worth it and keeps you from being tempted by a half gallon sitting on the shelf taunting you.

Cary's Sugar Free Maple Syrup
Yum... who doesn't love waffles and sausage for breakfast once in a while?  But, real maple syrup can break the bank and your WW points.  Although I spent several summers in Vermont and love everything maple in its truest form, I gave in and tried a substitute.  I was pleasantly surprised.  Cary's Sugar Free Maple Syrup is as good, if not better than the national brands that you immediately recognize as maple syrup standards.  Two tablespoons are a zero point food (amazing!) and pouring some right on top of some Eggo NutraGrain Whole Wheat waffles with a side of turkey sausage and this girl is in breakfast heaven.  Most restaurants that serve breakfast also have Cary's, so ask for it on your next trip and try it.  I guarantee you'll buy it on your next grocery trip.  Great for diabetics, too!

The Laughing Cow Wedges
A great way to jazz up boring reduced fat wheat thins, The Laughing Cow cheese wedges are only one point per wedge and actually, really taste good.   There are various flavors (the chipotle one being my least favorite), and they are easy to pack or grab on the way out the door for a snack.  They're a bit pricey for my blood, but most stores put them "buy one, get one free" sales pretty regularly.

EVOL Burritos
A recent culinary adoration of mine... I seriously saw someone driving around with a bumper sticker of this logo and wondered what it was.  I went to Kroger that night and saw the same logo in the organic frozen foods.  At two for $4.00, I thought I'd give them a try.  Wow... I was impressed.  Chock full of protein and flavor, these handmade, all natural burritos taste like you swung by Moe's or Willy's on your way home from work.  And they've got that Ben & Jerry's hippy marketing thing down pat!





Favorite Workout Clothes


Danskin

Danskin at Walmart is by far the best bang for your buck.  For $11, you can have a stylish pair of comfortable gym pants and amazingly, they sell them in sizes other than small and medium.  Their t-shirts are crazy comfortable and start at $5.00.  Walmart also carries Hanes Her Way t-shirts that make for great workout wear, especially in the winter because Danskin does not have long sleeves (in my store, at least).  For a girl on a budget who wants to get in shape, keep an eye on the racks of these pants and tops.  Sometimes, they clearance out the off-season ones and really, who cares?  I'm still in short sleeves and cropped pants in November.  Still sweating in the gym no matter how cold it is outside!

Active by Old Navy
Oh, I love these pants.  Crazy comfortable, soft, but durable, these pants are the best I own.  Regular priced, they're a bit steep for me to pay for pants I intend to sweat like hell in and wear out quickly, but when they put them on sale or you have a coupon, you can get them for $10 or so a pair, like I did.  I have a pair of their regular active pants and their yoga pants and love them both.  I haven't tried their sports bras yet, but they look really comfortable and supportive.  Their shirts/tanks are super cute, too, but I'm not comfortable enough with my arms yet to go the tanktop route at the gym.  My trainer promises me that I will be the summer.  Speaking of... I have a coupon that starts tomorrow!



Favorite Gym

LA Fitness... duh.  Best equipment, best classes, best (and hottest) trainers.

Keep watch, friends, as I'll add more and more favorites, and put them on the page devoted to all things I love!  I'm looking for and always open to finding new loves, especially supplements.  Anyone in love with a particular protein and flavor?  Share your healthy, workout loves here!

Bad "Track" Record

Day 1 Weight:  252 lbs.
Day 184 Weight:  219 lbs.
Personal Trainer Sessions Complete:  24
Weight Difference:  -33 lbs.

So, anyone who knows me in real life knows that I'm not really a runner.  Okay, honest truth here, I'm not really a walker.  Being a runner is about as far fetched an idea as me being an astronaut.  Of course, it's possible, but severely unlikely.  If you have ever had a conversation with me about exercising, past gym class horror stories or just physical fitness in general, you have heard, at least once, the story of my witty banter with my college gym teacher.  Actually... I think the real name of the class was "Walking and Jogging."  You'd think I'd be better at this whole walking... and jogging... thing, right?  Silly.  I made an "A" though.  Anyway... on one of the rare occasions that we did actually walk or jog, our professor/coach who needed to justify his salary beyond office hours announced that the last person around the ridiculously lengthy course needed to pick up the cones that designated the path.  I smiled, raised my hand and happily said "Okay, I'll get them."  I'm also famous for my long-standing response when asked if I liked to run:  "I only run if something's chasing me."

Looking back, I think my negative reaction to doing anything faster than the moonwalk had less to do with my ability to do it and more to do with my confidence and self-esteem.  Being overweight most of my life, the constant battle is to suck it in, squeeze it in, hold it in, and don't let it move.  Creating a situation where my body and all of it's extras were allowed and forced to move freely beyond my control was horrifying.  I worried more about how I looked while running (plus, who knows what to do with your hands?! But, I still have that issue, so we won't go there tonight.) and couldn't care less that my prolonged inactivity was just contributing to the overall giggliness.

So, with this lifelong adversity to moving a whole hell of a lot in mind, you'll now better appreciate the seemingly insignificant but realistically monumental challenge that was presented to me tonight.  Bound and determined to get my behind to the gym, despite staying at work late, fighting Atlanta traffic in the rain, dodging and weaving my way in between blaring ambulances, police cars, Hero units, and idiot drivers, I squealed into the gym parking lot, grabbed my overstuffed gym bag and scooted inside.  I scanned my card, chatted with a nice lady about a Mary Kay giveaway for gym members (she gave me free lipgloss), and then slid into the locker room to my favorite changing spot.  I rummaged through my bag, picking out what to wear for tonight's walk/jog when a sudden, dismal realization hit me.  Surely not... I grabbed my shirt, okay... pants, yup... sports bra, okay... socks, got 'em...  Damn!!!  Most of the elements of a workday outfit can seamlessly transfer from the office to the gym.  Shirts, dress pants, regular bras can all function closely enough to not be an issue.  Just last week, I worked out with knee highs scrunched down inside my tennis shoes because I'd forgotten socks.  But, my dear friends, work shoes do not make for friendly gym footwear.  I stood there for a second in a state of half-dressed and realized I had one option:  go home and get my shoes.  I frantically threw the rest of my things back in my gym bag, grabbed my purse and headed out, giving the Mary Kay lady a short explanation as to why I was bolting past her.  She seemed to commiserate and back to the car I went.

As I was driving, I had an argument with myself.  'Really, it's silly to go all the way to the house just to get shoes.  Just take the night off,'  one side of my brain would say, while the other yelled back, 'No!  Get your shoes and go back!  You don't have anything else to do and you'll regret it when you're not ready for the 5K!'  Back and forth and back and forth.  I need groceries too, which is another stop, will I have time?  And damn, I need gas too.  Maybe I should just skip tonight... I pulled into the driveway and now began the real test.  I remembered something someone somewhere said to me once (it was probably my trainer... or someone's stupid inspirational status on Facebook):  "Don't give yourself the option to quit.  The only person who can stop you from doing what you want is you."

I did another 5K on the treadmill tonight, only this time I finished in 56 minutes.  I went back.  I don't know who I am anymore.  The old me would have gone home, changed into pajamas and chalked the gym trip up as a waste of gas, better planning next time.  But, I did it and not only surprised myself, but my Mary Kay later seemed truly shocked that I'd really come back.  I did the same walking/jogging strategy (that they did not teach me in the class of the same name, I'll have you know!) and it felt good.  I was more tired today, but that makes sense.  Going to fight through the pain and sleepiness.  I think spending all this time at the gym and learning how to exercise for the first time in my life from someone who can take the time to focus on what's good for me and my levels of ability instead of an entire class of kids has given me the jolt of confidence I needed to start this training right now.  I'm not worried about how I look or what's shakin', rattlin' and rollin'.  Don't care.  I want to sweat like a pig and run like something's chasing me.

Oh!  But, I did get two smiles and a head nod from a rather attractive gentleman (no, not my trainer) who was on an elliptical behind me when I finished my 5K practice round tonight.  So, I'm thinking there might be something to this whole exercise thing... and that I'm going to use that same treadmill tomorrow and hope he uses the same elliptical.

P.S. I also think I'm going to ask my trainer (more like tell him) to run the real 5K with me.  What do you think??

Mission: Possible

Did these... didn't quite look this good,
but I'm getting there!

Day 1 Weight:  252 lbs.
Day 184 Weight:  220 lbs.
Personal Trainer Sessions Complete:  24
Weight Difference:  -32 lbs.


So, tonight is a big night for me.  First, I got to spend thirty minutes or so with a super hot guy who made me sweat and repeatedly told me what a good job I was doing.  Whew... I was exhausted afterwards.  Okay, okay, it was my trainer.  Innuendo totally intended....  Sorry... I got sidetracked while envisioning that.  I'll stop.  As enjoyable as the concept is.

We worked on my back muscles, which was awesome but super exhausting.  I never think of the muscles in my back being there and needing exercise.  But while Michael was sharing his expertise about the importance of working out one's back muscles (and sharing the reason why super body builders' stomachs poke out.  Do you know why?  According to my ridiculously astute, insanely in shape trainer, human growth hormone makes your internal organs increase in size, forcing themselves against your rib cage and then down and out, creating an overweight looking stomach.  Yuck, right?), I shared with him a critical piece of information:  I want to run a 5K.

I'm sure that Michael has gotten to the point where he can list off my random, changing daily goals, but this one is serious.  At the beginning of 2011, I made a resolution and promise to myself that I was going to run a 5K.  At the time, this coach potato didn't think it was even remotely close to being a reality.  But, I talked it up and carried it with me for eleven months.  And now, with a little over a month left on the calendar, there is a slight glimpse of hope that I might not physically die crossing the finish line.  After three months of training with Michael and making the stairclimber my bitch, I think I might be able to do it.

After we worked out my back (hee hee), I decided to feel what a 5K felt like on a treadmill.  I set that program to a 5K loop and watched as it set itself to 3.1 miles.  I started walking and decided that I would take it in increments.  After a mile and a half, I sped up the treadmill to a pretty good jog for a quarter of a mile.  I did that at each half mile mark. Each time I surprised myself with my stamina and my ability to focus on my breathing (instead of what used to be labored heaving) and my form.  And I kind of looked forward to each jogging increment.  Until I finished.  I did it.  I walked/jogged a 5K.  Granted it took me 57 minutes, but I did it.

And it felt good.  I had this weird drifting feeling in my legs, kind of like I was floating as I took each step after I got off the treadmill.  But, the best part was that I knew I could finish it without dying.

So, while I was accomplishing this monumental feat, I came up with a plan:  go to the gym every day that I can and increase the jogging period by a quarter mile every week until they all just blend together and I'm jogging the entire time.   For three point one miles.  Holy... cow.  And, at that rate, I'll be race ready in one month.

Good thing because I came home and registered for the Jingle Jog in Atlanta on December 10. (Bugs eyes and gasps in fear!)  I couldn't resist this combination of my love of Christmas and my new love of working out.   I'll be adorning my running shoes with jingle bells and accomplishing this lifetime goal and 2011 resolution in less than one month.  And keeping you posted during every quick paced step along the way!  Wish me luck!

Losing and Winning

So, I'm not quite sure what's happened.  Somewhere, at some point, I turned into a gym junkie.  "Hi, my name is Melanie and I'm addicted to the gym."  Okay, maybe not addicted.  I took today off... and didn't break out into the shakes.  Now, my leg muscles do feel neglected and slightly sore from lack of use, but that's probably normal.

I love it.  I absolutely, truly, genuinely look forward to going to the gym, usually on a daily basis.  I've needed new clothes for months.  Remember "The Incredible Shrinking Woman" with Lily Tomlin?  (Oh my gosh, Netflix that movie right now if you haven't seen it.)  That's kind of how I look in my old dress pants.  But, despite my daily impersonations of MC Hammer, I have done nothing but buy gym clothes for the last month and a half.  Cute stuff, too.  I instantly gravitate to whatever corner features yoga pants, stretchy t-shirts and sports bras.  Purses that used to inspire epic episodes of lust have been replaced with trendy gym bags that could conveniently hold my water bottle and protein shake bottle and a convenient pocket so that my earbuds don't get tangled.  You know, important things.

I look at food differently.  I want things that taste good, but there is this voice in the back of my mind that reminds me that, although I won't regret it and make myself feel terrible like the stereotypical dieter, it just won't be worth it.  Except Reese's cups.  Those are worth it.  No talking around that.

I love what's happening to my body.  Really, that's probably the majority of my inspiration.  There are bones between my wrists and my knuckles.  I have a collarbone.  And it's kind of hot.  My calf muscles are awesome.  And by awesome, I mean smoking hot in heels.  My skin has cleared up amazingly, and my hair is as shiny as a movie star's.  For the first time since I was a kid, my knees hurt when I lay on my side for a long time because they're bumping up against each other.  My shoulders have definition and my purse and/or gym bag (mostly gym bag) doesn't slide off with every other step.  My jawline has suddenly reappeared after years of being in hiding.  My cheekbones are almost emerging from their years of softened slumber, but I probably have a few weeks until then.  I'm optimistic, though.

I love that the little voice in my head who used to tell me not to bother, what difference will it make, really?, you can't, you won't, you'll quit, you'll give up, you'll wimp out, you'll flake, you'll never make it, you won't last five minutes, you're not designed to be athletic, it's too heavy, it's too steep, you can't lift that, you'll drop it, don't stand in the mirror, you should have started working out years ago, is absolutely, positively dead.  I drowned her in my sweat.

I get excited about the challenge of cooking and eating within my daily points target.  Finding recipes and unique ways to cook makes me giddy.  Beating the dieting monster and losing weight while never being uncomfortably hungry for one second is like getting a gold star everyday.  Learning that hunger is my body telling me that something is missing and not a sign that I need to immediately shove something edible down my throat is an accomplishment.

So, long story short, I don't know how all of this happened.  Maybe it was the scale dropping on a regular basis.  Maybe it was the fact that I felt lighter simply because I wasn't bogged down with heavy, greasy junk food.  Maybe it was progressing from six minutes of absolute torture on the stairclimber to thirty minutes of dominating that bad boy.  Maybe it was my dreamy trainer.  Yeah... that's probably it.

Blogger Beware!

So, tonight I met Michael (my personal trainer... not my date.  Unfortunately) at the gym for a one-on-one training session.  I saw him on Saturday where he decided that pushing me to the point of nausea was a great idea.  By the end of the Crossfit style circuit, he determined that my almost-miraculous survival was solely due to sheer will and we needed to work on my legs.  I took Sunday off in recovery but still had that "jelly legs" feeling until about halfway through the day today.  As soon as I walked up to the trainer's stand, I knew by the look on his face what we were doing today.  "Wanna do legs?," he asked.  "Do I have a choice?," I replied.  And off we went.

Leg curls

Today we were joined by another personal trainer who apparently had nothing else to do.  He's a bit older than Michael and a bit less Greek-god-like, but super funny and sarcastic (my favorite kind of people are dripping with sarcasm around the clock).  Apparently, I'm gym famous because he said that he thought we'd be entertaining.  It must be because I'm a model client, always exhibiting perfect form and sporting the cutest workout outfits in the gym.  Or it could be my sailor's mouth that can be heard near and far when I get to a particularly difficult rep.  Whatever... I'm still popular.  So, together we headed for the leg curls...

Reverse v-squats, although this picture is different.
My feet were pointed downward.

then moved on to reverse v-squats...

Then, in between reverse v-squat reps, we played this lovely little personal trainer torture game called "Cards," where the trainer drops eight playing cards in a line on the floor.  You have to squat to pick each one up.  Not bad?  Yeah, okay.  Each time you pick one up, you move to the next card and drop each one that is in your hand first, then pick them all back up.  So, by the time you finish, you're squatting fifteen times for the last card.  Then, we did 200 feet of lunges while holding a 6.6 pound medicine ball out from my chest.  I'm tired, peeps.  Tired.  Needless to say, I totally bailed on the stairclimber tonight.  I will make it my bitch tomorrow.  Tonight... I need protein and rest.

But the root of my story tonight is much better than a blow-by-blow of my physical activity.  Remember I mentioned the guest trainer who had turned our duo into a trio to kill some time?  About halfway through my second set of reverse v-squats, we'd all been laughing and joking around.  Since I had warned him ahead of time that I was a swearer, and my usual colorful language was just a'flowing, I asked Michael if he was trying to kill me.  In jest.  Of course.  And with sweat pouring down my face, neck and back.  Yuck.  The other trainer started laughing and said that he meant to send Michael an email he'd gotten earlier from another personal trainer friend.  "Apparently," he told, "this guy found this website of like some woman's diary and she had just started with a personal trainer.  At the beginning, she's all like 'oh, my trainer is so hot, he's like a Greek god (see above reference to Greek god....oh...no...), he's so nice, he's so considerate, he's so encouraging, he's so smart and just really cares about me and my health.'"  My stomach dropped.  So did the weights on the reverse v-squat machine.  "You okay?," Michael asked (he does care about my health!!! He is kind and considerate!!!).  "Uh... yeah.  Just tired," I lied.  I was at three-quarters strength at least; we'd just started.  "You've got this," he said (encouraging!  He is encouraging!).

The other trainer kept going and my brain was whirling.  Did they find my blog?, this blog?!?  In hopes that my fears were not confirmed, I kept listening under the guise of busting out some more reverse v-squats.  If I'd been discovered, that meant no more elaborate descriptions of how gorgeous my trainer is (I have told you he's gorgeous, haven't I?) or how, when he told me he'd catch me if I fell from a stair stepping exercise we were going, I almost fell intentionally, or how I consider him God's little reward to me for finally getting off my butt after thirty years and doing something healthy.  The other trainer finally stopped mocking the online diary and said "Then, by the fifth day that this woman had written about her training, she said something like 'Satan called and wondered why I hadn't been to hell in the last few days.'"  Whew.  That... was close.

So, with this in mind, I've decided that friend requesting my personal trainer on Facebook might be a bad idea considering my daily check-ins at the gym that usually include some kind of reference to his amazing attractiveness.  If he sends me a request, of course I'll consider it, if for nothing else the ability to share his photo with my disbelieving friends who probably think I'm making him up.  Although he might have a difficult time finding me because, for some reason, the last two sessions he's referred to me as "Malia."  Like the First Daughter.  Prior to this, he's called me "Melanie," so I'm not sure what happened.  But, quite frankly, he could call me "Wilbur," as long as he's calling me and I get to look at him while he's doing it.

Food Lust

Day 1 Weight:  252 lbs.
Day 142 Weight:  224 lbs.
Personal Trainer Sessions Complete:  9
Weight Difference:  -28 lbs.

So, one of the hardest things about maintaining a weight loss blog is finding the time in between weight training, cardio, grocery shopping, food prep, protein shake making, and sleep to update it!  But, I decided that, after a solid month of pretty intense training, I deserved a weeknight break and took up residence in a surprisingly uncomfortable spot in my neighborhood Starbucks, indulging in a latte (with "Make it as low-fat, low-cal as you possibly can" directions to the barista) and a reduced fat cinnamon swirl coffee cake.  Oh... I've missed cake.  I'm sure my trainer (who I should totally introduce you to instead of constantly referring to him with an nondescript noun) would disapprove.  But, he's not here right now.  Unfortunately.  I'd totally sacrifice the cake to be sitting here with his nearly perfect face across this tiny table and.... okay, okay, I'll stop.

A dear friend of mine recently shared with me her near-lustful fascination with what people eat when they're losing weight.  I totally get this.  Before I started all this, I really had no idea what to eat.  I'd hear other people talk about their weight loss and wonder what they were eating that was working as opposed to my menu.  I'd stick to my daily points within Weight Watchers, but was never using them correctly.  I'd figure 'Oh, I have ten points left after dinner... I should have a Snickers bar.'  Well, although I could technically splurge on this culinary delight, it wasn't what was best for my body.  And I learned quickly that once you break yourself of those habits, you really, truly don't crave them like you used to.  Okay, so every now and then I think I could totally inhale a small fry from McDonald's.  But, every time I've indulged such cravings, I've always sat back and thought that it wasn't really worth it and I'd trumped up the amazing flavor I thought I'd experience in my head.

I started thinking of things in relation to their points value.  Was a Chick-fil-A sandwich really worth 13 points and would I be hungry again in two hours?  Or could I spend ten minutes the night before work prepping a huge chicken breast marinated in lemon pepper with a side of brown rice and vegetables for the same amount of points and be full and supercharged with energy long into the evening?  Much better choice.  Of course, I didn't wake up one day and realize this.   But, my trainer shared some valuable words of wisdom (and believe me... if you saw his pecs, thighs, arms, calves, etc., you'd realize how qualified he is to share said wisdom) with me a few weeks ago that I've been trying to incorporate in my day-to-day eating habits.  He said that bodybuilders look at food like fuel.  And just like your car, you wouldn't want to put crappy fuel in it.  It would eventually break down and stop functioning properly.  So, if we spend so much time and effort on upkeep for our vehicles, why aren't we willing to do it when it comes to our bodies?!  Good point, Michael (my trainer's name is Michael), good point.

My friend asked me if I would share what I'm eating on a regular basis.  I have to admit, I haven't been following Weight Watchers to the letter, as you can see from my weight update today, but I'm totally attributing that to muscle gain... well, at least part of it.  And the normal fluctuations of the body for the plus/minus five pounds rule.  I've learned about myself that it is hard for me to focus on more than one thing at a time, but after seeing the scale, I know that focusing on both my exercise and my food is critical, so sharing it with you will help me stay in check.  Since today isn't over, I'll share with you yesterday's selections, which pretty much mirror a typical day.

PointsPlus® Tracker entries Monday, October 03, 2011
Morning
1  serving(s) Kroger Active Lifestyle Almond & Cranberry Oatmeal
2 large whole hard-boiled egg(s)
1 bagel(s) Bagel Thins 100% Whole Wheat
1 1/2 Tbsp 1/3 less-fat cream cheese
1 Tbsp fat-free skim milk
1 serving(s) Kroger Lite Apple Juice with Splenda
1 Coffee with Half & Half and Splenda
Midday
3 oz frozen stir-fry vegetables
1/8 cup(s) teriyaki sauce
3 oz. grilled chicken breast fillet
1 cup(s) cooked brown rice
Evening
3 oz cooked lean beef steak
1 serving(s) Kroger Spring Blend Mixed Vegetables
Skinny Cow Caramel Cone Ice Cream
1 serving(s) GNC Amplified Wheybolic Extreme 60 Protein Shake - Vanilla
1 oz chocolate energy bar

So, as you can clearly note, I splurged yesterday too.  But, what you don't see are the points values for these items.  I could include them, but I figured those non-WW peeps would lose interest.  With my exercise from yesterday, all of this food was within my daily points target.  I was never hungry.  I use the most points at breakfast to jump start my metabolism and get my stomach working and ready to burn through calories the rest of the day.

One trick I've learned about WW and probably any diet, especially at the beginning, is to almost drown yourself in water.  Flush out the water weight first and honestly, you'll start feeling better in a matter of days.  Oh, and oats!  Eat lots of oats.  According to my brilliant trainer, oats are God's gift to the human body.  They give you energy more than anything else can, help with heart health and are cheap, cheap, cheap.  Because another thing I've learned... it ain't inexpensive to be healthy.  Take one look at my bank account!  But, my pantry looks pretty...

So, my advice for the day is to plan ahead, think out your meals long before you wake up in the line at Wendy's; shop with the whole week in mind and you'll be less likely to swing by the neighborhood junk vendor on the way home from work (Starbucks doesn't count); keep frozen dinners, like Lean Cuisines and Smart Ones, on hand for nights when you just don't feel like cooking or lunches that you don't have time to prepare; and make the switch from white pastas and breads to whole wheat or better, whole grain.  It will take a bit of getting used to (for pasta, I highly recommend Ronzoni Smart Taste... you almost can't tell the difference) but eventually you'll start to see a difference in your waistline and generally feel less heavy.

Stay tuned for some of my favorite WW-friendly recipes (like Cool Whip Peanut Butter Treats) and my go-to weeknight meals that are easy prep, full flavored and filling.

The First 30

Day 1 Weight:  252 lbs.
Day 138 Weight:  222 lbs.
Personal Trainer Sessions Complete:  7
Weight Difference:  -30 lbs.

Okay, so right off the bat, you'll notice the GIANT gap between Day 1 and today.  Let me give you the background and then we'll move into the good stuff.  On May 15, 2011, I decided I'd had enough with being overweight.  I'd tried Weight Watchers before, but had recently seen a commercial featuring Jennifer Hudson and offering free registration.  Having just finished house-sitting for a friend's parents, I had a little extra cash from that in my pocket, so I signed up.  I created my account, entered my Day 1 weight, did all my various measurements and dove head first into learning how to follow the plan correctly.

Over time, I learned the secrets to Weight Watchers success.  I didn't do my usual apocalypse-style kitchen-clean-out, but gradually phased the not-so-good items out by incorporating them into my daily points targets until they were gone.  I switched from red meat to white (mostly ground turkey, but occasionally ground chicken), white breads and pastas to wheat, and still made sure to have some Weight Watchers Friendly (in future to be noted as "WWF") desserts on-hand for my insatiable sweet tooth.  As we progress, I'll share with you my favorite items, tips and recipes.  Because I have truly gotten my money's worth out of the Weight Watchers Online. 

The weight loss was slow going at first.  I plateaued at about seventeen pounds and hovered there for a long time.  And then those words that I'd been repeating to myself in my head for months (who am I kidding?, years) finally clicked:  "If you don't add exercise, this will all be useless."  Having committed so much time and energy into making this go-round with WW a success, I couldn't throw in the towel this early.  Especially not after I'd been updating my weight loss progress on my Facebook page weekly.  What if someone eventually realized there hadn't been an update in months?  What if they asked and I had to tell them that I hadn't lost another pound or (gasp) gained some back?!  Unacceptable.  I was on a one-way street to Sexyville and there was no turning back.

Thankfully, I had some monthly payments I'd been making for a year or so hit their pay-off point right when I decided that joining a gym was the right next step for me.  But, I was hesitant.  I knew nothing about exercising other than cardio was good for you and you should do it regularly.  I had joined gyms before but had strategically stayed away from anything denoted as a "machine" or included in its title the words "weights," "lats," "squats," "pulls" or "extensions."  All Greek to me.  Plus, I didn't want to build muscle, I wanted to lose fat.  Or so I thought.  I sat down with the sales representative from my local LA Fitness who showed me how important it is to do both at the same time.  News to me, gaining muscle actually helps you lose fat faster and at a more sustainable rate.  I explained how I only wanted to do this once... I wanted to lose the weight and just maintain for the rest of my life.  No more yo-yo-ing for this chickadee. 

The representative quickly went into the perks of a personal trainer.  Being a sales person in my previous life, I know all the tricks and usually see right through them.  But, this all clicked... it made sense and I knew I had to go "all in."  I'm not married, I don't have any children or other responsibilities outside of work and for once in my life, I could afford it.  If I said "no," I had no real, reasonable excuse for complaining about not losing weight.  So, I signed up.  One year of gym membership with eight personal trainer sessions per month for $235 per month.  I know... you're probably like, "Damn!"  But, I promised honesty and that's what you're going to get.  My previous alternative was weight loss surgery, which ranges in price, but usually starts around the $13,000 mark with an expectation that you'll also implement an exercise program.  For now, I'm skipping the scalpel and saving some cash.

Soon after, I met my trainer.  We went over my goals (I told him that I wanted to be comfortable wearing a tank top in public next summer.   His reply:  "No problem.  Let's go.") and had a whole session devoted to just learning where I stood on the whole physical agility spectrum.  The result:  Pretty low.  But, today, going into my eighth appointment with him, I have dramatically improved in my ability to get through the routines and exercises and my stamina and endurance has jumped leaps and bounds.  This girl who could hardly get through 30 minutes on a flat treadmill at a slightly quick walk is now busting through the stair climber for thirty minutes, pouring in sweat and loving every minute of it.  Well, "loving" might be a stretch.  I'm feeling very accomplished... that's more realistic terminology.  My trainer is knowledgeable, encouraging, hot, funny, engaging, interested in my progress, hot, motivating without being pushy or mean, friendly, hot and oh, did I say hot?  Yeah... he's hot.  Which I consider to be my reward for finally taking my health seriously.  I will attempt not to just drool over him daily in my posts.  I can't guarantee anything though.

After this month of personal training, I know what held me back before.  It was a lack of education.  So, if I can use this blog to share with you my accomplishments, hopefully inspire you that this real-world, unpaid, non-celebrity-spokesperson can do it with little more reward than her health and sexiness, and share the insights I'm learning while I'm at the gym about how to properly exercise, it will all be worth it.  So, let's start sharing our accomplishments or goals.  What one little thing can you change to help you move in a better direction?  Like my tank tops next summer, what's your material goal?  Do you have a certain piece of clothing you'd like to fit into again or be comfortable in for the first time?



I own these... and am wearing them.
Right now.

 To get us started, I'll share with you something I'm very proud of that I'm sure I would never have shared before.  When I was in high school, I wore a pants size 26.  For those plus-sexy chicks out there, you know the implications of wearing a size 26.  That's the largest size that most plus-size stores carry in stock, so you're frighteningly close to the edge of "special order" territory.  During my first attempt at Weight Watchers and while I was in college, I dropped a few pounds in a rather unhealthy way (like not eating) and brought that down to a size 22.  I remained there for the last six years.   With my eating habits changing and my exercise regime going into hyperdrive, I started losing weight faster than I could buy new clothes and regularly walked around the office wearing pants reminiscent of an MC Hammer video for the last few weeks.  Until yesterday.  Yesterday, I made a huge purchase (and probably spent more than I should have considering they're transition pants).  I bought a size 18 pair of dress pants.  Monumental, friends.  Monumental.  This is the smallest size I've worn in my adult life.  I went from hovering at the 17 pounds lost stat to 30 total pounds gone in seven personal trainer sessions.  That's 13 pounds in less than a month.  There's something to this whole exercise thing afterall...

Post-workout pointers tomorrow!

Irreconcilable Differences

For twenty-five years, I've been overweight.  No sense beating around the bush; I'm the kind of girl that likes to get straight to the point.  I'm too old to be coy and if you've spent enough time to find this blog and decide you're interested in reading what I have to say, you deserve the honest truth.

I'm thirty years old and for as long as I can remember, I've dealt with weight issues.  And I don't just mean physically.  Being overweight is mentally and physically exhausting.  It consumes your thoughts, taints your plans and aspirations, scars your self-perception and can potentially take over your life.  I, my friends, have had quite enough.

For anyone who is a follower of my other blog (shameless plug about to happen...) Lost in Singledom, you know that I've made a lot of changes in my life in the last year or so.  I've broken out of my shell and really worked on who Melanie is on the inside.  I've dilligently tried to make decisions based on what I want and not based on how other people will see me or think about that particular route I've chosen to take.  I've made new friends, reconnected with old ones, discovered what I want and don't want out of this life, and made strides to get there.  So, why is my dating life more important than my overall health?  It's not.  And that's why we're here.

I intend to use this blog as my accountability partner (that means you), my inspiration and my progress report.  For the first time in my life, I will be frank about my weight, my goals, my struggles, my insecurities, and my accomplishments.  And rewards (the fun part).  Together, we'll work to find that skinny girl that lives inside of me (that I've been shutting up with Chips Ahoy for years).

Here's what we'll agree to in an ever-so-not-binding contract:  I'll post regularly about dieting and exercising, and each week I'll update you on my progress with actual, not slanted stats and pictures.  In exchange, you will comment up a storm.  You don't have to sing my praises or shower me with flattering compliments (you know, unless you really want to); I just want a good dialogue about all things weight loss.   Everyone has issues with some part of their body, so let's be open and share without being judgmental or hurtful.  Agreed?  Agreed.

So, since I tend to be known for my dating references, analogies and snide remarks, I decided to maintain that overtone with "Breaking Up with the Couch."  We're through, you comfy, green, microfiber, l-shaped wonder.  You're going to miss me.  And I will surely miss you, but it's for the best, really.  You'll stay looking nicer longer without my behind plastered to your cushions, and I'll definitely start looking nicer by resisting the urge to settle into that Melanie's-butt-shaped indentation. There's going to be a period of adjustment and you might get jealous of the elliptical.  It's natural.  But, I'll try my best not to talk about it or other gym equipment around you and save it for the blog.

Today marks the last day of my relationship with the couch.  We're officially broken up.  Let's do this...

Ever seen a caterpillar turn into a butterfly?  Keep your eyes on me...